Legally in Love: Are You Suffering from B.L.S.G.?
Welcome to Brooklyn Law School – a tier-two legal institution where acquiring a full-time dean is impossible and models frolic in lingerie about the library. Whether you just started a month ago or are finishing up soon, there is a high probability you have had – or will have – B.L.S.G.:
“B.L.S.G” – Brooklyn Law School Goggles: a phenomenon in which one’s minimal contact with lay persons combined with an ever increasing exposure to 250 Joralemon makes unattractive persons appear beautiful.
For those of you who are married or in a committed relationship with a “lay person,” this column is not for you. And while the textualist definition of B.L.S.G. refers specifically to Brooklyn Law Students, this can be extrapolated to those unfortunate occurrences where, out in the NYC jungle, your lips were glued to a stranger you were subconsciously aware was way beneath you.
Broad or narrow – it doesn’t really matter. Spending the majority of your time surrounded by florescent lights between floors 4-6 starts to take its toll on your version of what a “reasonably prudent partner” should be. Your laptop and overly priced textbooks can’t offer you the warmth of someone’s arms and excitement over discussing Scalia-isms. If this continues beyond just a few quick hookups, it’s custom to then find simple excuses for the major hiccups in a very unstable “relationship.” I can point and laugh when I hear about another BLSG case, but I will never judge having been there more times than I would like to admit.
For instance, though fully aware that several of my past B.L.S.G.s would be in attendance, I could not resist checking out the BLSPI-ILS Halloween Party last Thursday. My first thought when walking into Geraldo’s: “WTF….I am now having a warped Saved By The Bell-John Hughes high school experience.” Indeed, there were some solid costumes – a difficult first prize tossup between Kuklin and Edward Scissor Hands. The drunkenness then continued to Last Exit for the “date auction,” organized by IALSA and co-sponsored by OutLaws, ILS and APALSA. This was a first for me, and quite mind boggling: I can’t say I have ever seen a vampire auction off twenty-something year olds like pieces of fresh meat. I was silently horrified, though I couldn’t help laughing at the bug-eyed bumblebee shaking his lights, Harry Potter’s magic tricks, and Captain America letting it all hang out.
In the end, I am glad I witnessed this spectacle. Of course I had some amazingly awkward interactions with my B.L.S.G.s – this is just the price I now pay for past “goggled” decisions. I have no regrets, though I hope you will learn from my mistakes when dealing with your own B.L.S.G.
Check back next week for more of Lizzie B’s adventures in the BLS dating scene.
Correction: An earlier version of this article misidentified the sponsors of the Halloween date auction as BLSPI-ILS. BLSPI sponsored the party, but not the auction.